As a writer it is my job to create fictional worlds where people can escape reality if only for a little while. When I was a child I loved to read like a lot. I wish I had the time to read as an adult like I did as a child. What I’m trying to get at is that I didn’t care about the person that wrote the books I read, I only wanted to read the day away.
Flash forward to the adult me who decided to pursue my dream of being a famous writer. I wanted to do things my own way so I decided to try self publishing as opposed to traditional publishing. With zero knowledge of what would happen next I put my first book into the world.
There was a brief honeymoon period where friends and family wished me well and continued success. And when that ended it was time for the demons to introduce themselves. Let me introduce you to them one by one.
This one was the first, in the form of what was I thinking? What have I done? Will people like it? Will people hate it? Where do I go from here? These questions hit me on a daily basis and sometimes I don’t win the battle, but it doesn’t keep me from trying every day.
This one came as people started to read my book. I’m sure it’s different for everyone, but for me it was in the form of what will they expect of me next? Will I live up to my readers’ expectations? Will they want to read my next book? I don’t know how to combat this one but I try every day.
To be honest, I feel like this one is my best friend right now…because I feel like I have failed on so many levels. There are no questions from this one, they just sit silently judging me as I sit and do nothing at all. No writing, no editing, no promotion, no fixing my website…you get the picture. Good grief it was April when I wrote my last blog entry and heaven knows how long it was before that one. I need to do but I can’t seem to move…but I will try.
This one goes hand in hand with failure in the fact that if I succeed then expectations will be placed on me to continue producing quality fiction to feed the imagination. What if I stumble? What if my new project isn’t as well received as the last? Why do my readers want to know so much about me? What do I do next? The questions come like bullets and keep me from finding out if I can succeed or not.
So what does one do to combat these demons? I’m not sure, but as I figure it out I’ll share with you so stay tuned…